meltdown

oh yes i did. it was late late last night. when im done with ugly betty disc 4. and while im talking bout ugly betty there was a scene where betty was confused about her relationship with walter. whether its love or no love at all. whether she should breakup with him or not, and things like getting to know her real purpose of being with walter. well im not saying that im in that situation with Mr Boyfy but sometimes when you watch movies and tv shows, things like this just knocks into your head and u start to think very deeply if it will affect your relationship, if things like that might happen or (hopefully) might not. the bad situation, of course.

Anyone will tell me to chill and not think of it. After all its just a movie or drama or whatever but if they can make a movie out of that, at least someone in this world had experience things like that, no ? and i dont wanna be that person!

then there's this other question on marriage. about the promise till death do u apart and yada yada yada. i want to believe on the happy marriage, the happy family, the happy life or maybe i just sound ridiculous. but i know there's no such thing. and reading from what Dirah had to blog on, i was like OMG! we think alike. things like partnership and all. i totally agree. i don't blame men alone for this, there are women who neglect their responsibility as a wife. in case u don't know as a Muslim, and also a wife, we have lots of things in hand. the beauty of a wife. but does every wife do so? seriously, i dont think so. if i go on blaming men about marriage i'll lose faith in men, and having the Girl Power, i dont want to say things about women either. so you go figure. for what i know, i pray that Allah s.w.t will give me guidance to be a perfect Muslim and a perfect wife. Amin

All of this were in my head and suddenly my PC (head) just blew. i was nervous, horrified and confused. everything was complicated to me. i tried to scroll down my phone book and see whom i should call, and there's only a number i want to call (even though it will cost me A LOT!), its my Nad, Ada, Et and Sya in Dublin. Yes people, i had no choice, it was almost 2am and i cant be calling the 306 gals in KL; attie, fafa, ekin. And to my relief, Nad answered the phone and she asked me the usuals like "how are you?" and "tak tido lagi ke?".

nad, sya, ada & et

suddenly out of nowhere, i burst out crying like nobody's business. i felt so comfortable talking and crying to those i love most, the 306 girls. sometimes things like this should be exclusively shared with close friends. those who knows you in and out. Nad went out on loudspeaker as Ada was there too. the others were out working. for once, i wanted them back. i wanted the life i had with them minus the bad stuffs, of course. the life when we had each others back no matter what. it had been awhile since i last called them, and sometimes i thought that to them it wouldnt matter much. but they are still my friends. sisters of the travelling pants. i missed all the moments we had. the fights. the confessions. the cookouts. the shopping. the endless slumber party. the facials. everything! seriously i do. girls, we need to reunite!!

special thanks to my lovely sisters, Nad and Ada for all the wise words. i wouldnt be sleeping last nite if it werent for the both of u. Much love :)