PMS : Trust me, we can't help it

I understand people withdraw themselves from talking about this matter for some reason -- like it is "improper" or forbidden or something, I don’t know. But in my opinion, I don't see what the big deal is.

It crops up to me a few seconds ago that perhaps members of the opposite sex (men!) still don’t get it. (Yes, you won't have to figure this one out, I'm having my PMS now)

What men often don't seem to understand, is that PMS is very real! Valid! Factual! What else? It isn't a reason to be irritating or a nag. It isn't a reason for being overly sensitive and shedding a tear or two at the cheesy movie scenes. And it really isn't something we can have power over. We struggled and strived and there are some ways to minimize the consequences, although the reality is, we occasionally merely can't help it.

Women's bodies (some more than others) go through physical, hormonal transformations during this time of the month and we, mainly, experience like we are on a roller coaster. Only it isn't like a "weeee!! another loop-dee-loop!!" fun roller coaster. It is a flat-out physically and emotionally un-fun roller coaster.

And for some reason, hardly any men seem to recognize how to deal with these feelings. They make an effort, heaven knows they try, and I'm sure it isn't easy; nevertheless possibly it is a lack of understanding that maintains them from successfully managing the situation.

And although it also might make their lives easier, I suppose men do have some responsibility to assist their wife or girlfriend out in these circumstances. It unquestionably isn't something they should just overlook. Why not help us through it rather than make it more difficult for us? We have the babies, we deal with pain on a monthly basis and we acquire to endure menopause later in life. We may well at least make use of a little empathy and consideration from our men throughout the few days a month that our bodies are rebelling against us.

I know we can sometimes get a little bit scary, but bear with us...

To make it a little bit easier, I want to pass on a few pieces of guidance to men (even if they all stopped reading after they saw those three letters -- P-M-S -- maybe the females still reading will have some tools to pass on).

#1: Never, EVER say the following: "I hate when you have PMS," "You're only saying that/acting that way since you have PMS," etc. Even though it may very well be true, it really makes us mad. And although we are most likely exaggerating, our feelings are genuine and compelling. (For example, I get a lot more irritated when my husband leaves his wet towel in a pile on the bathroom floor when I have PMS, but it still annoys me other times of the month.) Your best bet? Don't even mention "PMS" unless we bring it up. And even then, maybe you might want to just let us do the talking.

#2: Don't leave us alone and unaccompanied. Even if we say we need to be left alone, what we truly want is a nice cuddle, some chocolate and a back rub. Is that so hard? Don't pay attention to us, don't take it personally, you don't even have to talk. Just spring into action immediately. Repeat after me: Hug, chocolate, massage. Hug, chocolate, massage. Hug, chocolate, massage.

#3: For roughly one week a month, even if we are wrong and even if we try, do not argue with us. Just don't. Because probabilities are, even if you have the more rational disagreement, you won't win this one.


#4: Take us out to dinner (fried food=woman with PMS' best friend) or offer yourself in the kitchen. Give us flowers, even if you plucked them from the neighbor's garden, the park wherever. Tell us we are beautiful, even if we look depressed and bloated. Feed us chocolate. Or better still, all of the above. The one obsession that is sure to make us feel better is some good, old-fashioned pampering. And we deserve it!

#5: Don't freak out when we cry. We are expressive this time of the month, and let's be honest, most women are emotional to begin with. So men, please, hand us a tissue and try not to make the colossal mistake of making fun of us as we cry over an "Armageddon" re-run.