Sunday, September 7, 2008


I was blog-hopping throught a bestie of mine and saw that she had a question. What is happiness? What made me? Will it last? How i got it and all sorts of question. Indirectly Ada, i'm replying to you. Im not a psychologist, you know that but im definitely human and your friend you've known for almost 24 years now.

So what is happiness? From my search i found that happiness brings different meanings. For someone it might be excitement, passion, exhilaration, fulfillment, freedom, feeling fully alive with inspiration and joy and for another it might be more peaceful, content, capable, hopeful, satisfied, and comfortable feeling. Whatever you call it, it just feels good. Happiness is what you feel when you're NOT feeling; self doubt, depressed, hateful, fearful, worried, unsatisfied, bored, grief, shame, guilt, discontent, anxious, annoyed, angry, irritated, stressed, frustrated, upset, down, sad, envious or jealous.

It depends on which age group we're in too. Are we the baby boomers who thinks being healthy is happiness? Or are we the Gen Xers who needs the extra holidays with the family? Or are we the Gen Yers who need the extra moolah for shopping? It all depends too.

However, happiness is not pleasure although they can appear similar. Pleasure is enjoyment of an outside stimuli. You might find pleasure in buying a new car, or in going on vacation, or having friends over for dinner, or being with the one we love. Pleasure requires an external stimuli for you to experience it. Happiness does not. Some people who seem to have nothing are very happy. Some people who seem to have everything are not. Some jet-setters seem happy while some moral crusaders have become miserable old grouches. Happiness seems very unpredictable, inconsistent, irrational.

Happiness is a belief about yourself and the outside world. You can be doing something you normally experience as pleasurable but not be happy too! Pleasure is born from the external world, happiness is born from the internal workings of our own minds. Happiness is not merely a life lived by accumulating moments of pleasure. On the contrary, happiness is a long lasting enduring enjoyment of life, it is being in love with living.

It is your reward for achieving a good character and personal rational values in life. Some important values are a productive career, romance, friendship and hobbies. Achieving these values requires rationality and takes effort and skill. Two types of skills you can use are thinking skills and valuing skills. Once you learn to have confidence in your own mind and once you discover the virtues that make it possible for you to achieve your values and that make your life worth living, then you will experience the result - an earned pride and a genuine self-esteem. And of course happiness.

If you ask me, in my life i may have found happiness myself. Its always there but like life it has its ups and downs. Its normal to me to be happy and sad in different phases of my life. In my past entries, i may have written my happiness and unhappiness. Well it happens in all of us. At least to me, i may not be Paris Hilton, Victoria Beckham or Blair Waldorf with the whole entourage. I'm definitely just your girl next door but im happy as i am.

Even though i'm lonely at times, without a best friend/sister to tag along with me for shopping, i am happy. Why? Because i have them whenever i go. They're always supporting me in anything i do (Friends, you know who you are, near and far). From relationship problems, to setting up my cupcake booth to anything at all i have my friends to depend on. Although once upon a time i used to hate the fact that i have lesser friends around me nowadays. At least, i have REAL friends.

Happiness is also defined through love. I have found happiness in Mr Boyfy. Even though the normal/ritual disagreements make me sick but he'll always know how to get by and make me smile. He knows when to kiss my forehead, when to hold my hand. He knows when to call back, when to have deep conversations. He knows when im angry, sad and he knows when im happy and hungry. He knows that i love him and i know it too. He knows it and he knows it all. Thats enough for me to be happy.

Happiness is also defined through my family. I'm happy that we're all together in anything, supporting each other's back through thick and thin even though its not as obvious as it should be. I know there's always my family. Happiness was also seen when my brother and i graduated. I saw it in my parent's eyes and thats the best thing ever happened to me. For once, I felt i made them proud. Its pure happiness.

I found happiness when we were in Mekah performing Umrah.

I found happiness when i decided to conceal myself with Hijab.

I found happiness.

But my life is not a 100m sprint. Its a marathon. I'll have to go through as much happiness as well as unhappiness. Till then, let me dream sweet tonight. XOXO


[et] said...

dura,this is a good entry for happiness.hopefully Ada get her answer (she's getting really complicated these days!hahah.bianne Ada, still love u :P)

kirenye kalau bli boots baru bukan happiness la ye?pleasure is it?heee ^_^

mynn said...

dura! ;D

words yang amat well-written.

reena said...

Nice entry!